[She says it lightly. She's sure. She's pretty sure. But there's a little bit of vulnerability, and that's real. He doesn't have the power to choose to spare her now, if she's wrong. But she needs to hear it today, and she's pretty sure, so she puts her heart right on the line. When Anya gambles, she goes all out on stakes.]
The kitchen's good for violent assholes. Long history of it helping people who'd rather be fighting-- even before they put me on shift. It was the best way I knew to help you, giving you some control over something as important as food.
I think probably I was hungry as a child. At least sometimes.
[Since she knows she was alone. But she doesn't remember it. She remembers champagne and wretched excess and spicing hot pie. She remembers being sick at the extravangance, craving bread and water.
She always though her disdain came from jadedness, from over-pampered ennui. Maybe not.]
But it's all guesswork. I don't know if that...counts.
[She doesn't know if anything about that girl counts. That girl died.]
No, not on average. There are happy times but mostly it's stress. I'm satisfied, though; I've got my infrastructure set up, I have reasonable control over the situation.
I'd need to be able to leave here for good. I'm probably not going to be actively happy as long as I'm somewhere this dangerous. I'm okay. Just not happy.
Private
Date: 2014-03-30 09:44 pm (UTC)Private
Date: 2014-03-30 09:46 pm (UTC)You?
Private
Date: 2014-03-30 09:59 pm (UTC)If someone asks you something you don't like, you can answer in a language they don't know. Or... you can't.
Private
Date: 2014-03-30 10:02 pm (UTC)Anyone bothering you?
Private
Date: 2014-03-31 02:38 am (UTC)I... need to help her. I have to do whatever it takes.
If I gave you my soul, would you take care of it? Keep it safe until I can put it back, I mean?
Re: Private
Date: 2014-03-31 02:42 am (UTC)Yeah. I'd protect it with my life. I'd be real fucking concerned why you needed me to, though.
What are you going to do.
Private
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Date: 2014-03-31 12:07 pm (UTC)[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:21 pm (UTC)[private]
Date: 2014-04-01 11:29 am (UTC)I've been trying, with Arthas. And being with you's changed 'is outlook. I don't want to roll me eyes at 'im nearly so much.
Anything you want to ask me?
[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 05:14 pm (UTC)[She says it lightly. She's sure. She's pretty sure. But there's a little bit of vulnerability, and that's real. He doesn't have the power to choose to spare her now, if she's wrong. But she needs to hear it today, and she's pretty sure, so she puts her heart right on the line. When Anya gambles, she goes all out on stakes.]
Re: [private]
Date: 2014-03-31 05:38 pm (UTC)You're my favorite.
You have to take care of Ben, though. He's my second favorite.
[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:06 pm (UTC)I will.
[She thinks she wouldn't even mind sharing first with him, though it's hard to be sure unless someone asks. He's Ben.]
Re: [private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:22 pm (UTC)[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:25 pm (UTC)No. I was scared more than I was mad, even then.
[Some anger. But -]
You still - saw me, even when you were out of it. And you came back. That's what matters to me.
Re: [private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:27 pm (UTC)I'm never going to forgive her. You can if you want. Not me.
[private]
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Date: 2014-03-31 05:16 pm (UTC)[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 05:44 pm (UTC)[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 06:44 pm (UTC)[Since she knows she was alone. But she doesn't remember it. She remembers champagne and wretched excess and spicing hot pie. She remembers being sick at the extravangance, craving bread and water.
She always though her disdain came from jadedness, from over-pampered ennui. Maybe not.]
But it's all guesswork. I don't know if that...counts.
[She doesn't know if anything about that girl counts. That girl died.]
[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:24 pm (UTC)Do you feel any safer than when you first got here?
[private]
Date: 2014-03-31 07:29 pm (UTC)I feel threatened by different things.
Re: [private]
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Date: 2014-04-01 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-01 01:31 am (UTC)When are you going home?
no subject
Date: 2014-04-01 01:33 am (UTC)What would it take for you to be happy?
no subject
Date: 2014-04-01 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-01 11:35 am (UTC)Is there any way I can make it a little easier?
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