with_my_teacup | R43 - We were born to break the doors down

You're viewing

with_my_teacup's journal
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More

Reload page in style: site light

I have plenty to hide, most of you know that. I hide it in plain sight, some of you know that.

You can ask whatever; I'm game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

with_my_teacup

[That's his cut-throat balls on the line baby girl.]

You're my favorite.

You have to take care of Ben, though. He's my second favorite.

From:

fridgetothefire

[And the hungry, jealous, clawed thing inside her chest curls up and bides, content awhile.]

I will.

[She thinks she wouldn't even mind sharing first with him, though it's hard to be sure unless someone asks. He's Ben.]

From:

with_my_teacup

Are you still upset about me going into shutdown back in December?

From:

fridgetothefire

[She shakes her head.]

No. I was scared more than I was mad, even then.

[Some anger. But -]

You still - saw me, even when you were out of it. And you came back. That's what matters to me.

From:

with_my_teacup

I was worried you might trust me less.

I'm never going to forgive her. You can if you want. Not me.

Edited Date: 2014-03-31 07:31 pm (UTC)

From:

fridgetothefire

You came back. I trust you more.

[She sniffles just a little. Because it's true and it hurts and it's good.]

I want to. I think how much I actually do is always going to depend on the day. I forgive her enough to want to save her, but I don't know when I'm going to be able to go through with it.

[She understands, though. She feels that way about people who've hurt Ben, or Cassel. An imperturbable edifice of hostility, long after they'd forgiven their transgressors.]

But I feel better knowing you won't.

[Knowing someone cares that way, will carry the weight of the grudge she earned with years of struggling when it's too heavy for her to hold onto it. She can forgive and not forgive at the same time.]

From:

with_my_teacup

My baby.

I wish we'd met when we were both younger. But if you hadn't gone through the figurative and literal fire...you wouldn't be you. I'd have killed to make sure you had what you needed. Touch; affection; food. I'd have tried to make you turn out a lot less like me.

From:

fridgetothefire

[I'd have killed. The part of her that was safe and saved while Magneto destroyed Vinnitsya still wants that, still loves that. The part of her that was crushed by what he became is wary of it. But she'd kill for him too. So that's alright.]

I like being who I am, on balance. And I have what I need now.

From:

with_my_teacup

That's all right then.

You love me?

From:

fridgetothefire

I love you so much.

I gave Erik a #1 Dad mug for Christmas, but only because you feel more like my mom. Or what it felt like a mom ought to be.

[There's no push-pull of authority and fear and neediness and eagerness to prove herself with him, none of the taut balance she associates with fatherhood even when it works well. He's just - safety, warmth, comfort. An easy understanding she always wanted from Magda, and never got - although that part, at least, was no one's fault. They never had as much in common as Magneto thought they did.]

From:

with_my_teacup

Yes. [That's how he feels, on the balance.]

I'm entirely all right with that.

From:

fridgetothefire

I feel like everything's going to be alright, with you.

[She laughs, softly, grins.]

No pressure.

[Because they're the same person; she gets it from Ben and sometimes other people, and it's heavy, but it's precious.]