with_my_teacup: (Defiance)
[personal profile] with_my_teacup
[Who was found in a pineapple under the sea dumpster on Furya as a kid and really doesn't give much of a shit about parent-oriented holidays except for the tension it's causing? This guy! Who's pissed off because one of the kitchen badasses is down? This guy! Who has learned to cook instead of murder when he's feeling tense?

Fortunately for the Bargians who don't consider fighting a form of entertainment, this guy.]

Who out of all you people knows what a bagel tastes like? I need taste-testers. I always fuck up my sugar content on the first try.

[LATER, ALSO PUBLIC]

Bagels are edible, gonna have them for breakfast twice a week if people eat'm.

[Private to Chris]
What's the other thing you wanted with bagels. A topping. You were throwing a fit about it like a month ago.

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 04:49 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (chin bump)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Told you, asshole.

And fuck you, I'm amazing at self-defense.

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 04:53 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] shrugging)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Trial-and-error bagels when you don't even know the goddamn consistency or ever had one before? Can't see that going wrong at all.

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 04:55 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (dude you're my hero!)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
This is some bullshit plan you have of getting me fat, Riddick.

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 04:57 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] lol what)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
You miss when I was a roly poly baby. Ergo; chubbiness.

But sure, I'll come test out your crap bagels and tell you how much they suck.

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 05:01 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] he's talking to me)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Fuck you, I was adorable.

Where the fuck are you?

[Private]

Date: 2013-06-17 05:06 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] invisible puppet)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Really? I was going to guess up your own ass.

Spam?

Date: 2013-06-17 05:17 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] yeah fighting!)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Aaaaaand you can go royally fuck yourself.

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 05:25 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (are we sure about this?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
[Chris enters the kitchen, hands in pockets after he's shut his communicator off]

Fuck you, bagel boy.

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 05:36 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] well what do I do now?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
[Sparing the mercenary an increasingly skeptical look, Chris drops down in a seat and spreads the cream cheese over the surface. Warily, he takes a bite...or tries to. With his mouth full, he mutters around the bread,]

Thish tashtes like I'm eating rocksh.

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 05:48 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] tv time with family)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
You're going to rot my teeth.

[Nudging the trash can over with his foot, Chris spits out the half-chewed mouthful]

Holy shit. Did I lose a tooth?

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 05:56 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] hello I'd like to place a cal)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
No, I'm cool. Shut up, not everyone has a fucking iron jaw line.

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 06:04 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] well what do I do now?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Yeah, we're all pathetic humans with crap senses, I know.

[He begins making symbols in the flour with his fingers, frowning at the counter]

Don't say that.

Spam

Date: 2013-06-17 06:08 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] moody)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Yeah, I got that part. Otherwise this trip would be a hell of a lot nicer.

Spam

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