R 9 Fuck you admiral. Fuck you.

[with_my_teacup]

[Why is Riddick upset today? Because the admiral has forced his hand. He has to be a productive member of society. Oh, he hates this. He hates. This. But the alternative is letting things backslide in a direction he's all too familiar with, and NOPE.]

[Filtered to anyone who responded to his gambling post.]
No big winners today. Narvin woulda taken all of it, but he's not into currency.

D'amico, you want the game, you got it. Otherwise, it's canceled on account of fuck this bullshit, I'm not going to have time.


[Private to the kitchen shift wardens.]
Hey, I've got a favor to ask.

[Private to Ned.]
I see right, you're doing baking classes for Pinkman's cash?


[Filtered to Prefect - added later after long thought]
You were right. It could be worse. And I find I'm actually grateful for how much it wasn't. For every warden, every time, who made the choice not to go corrupt.

I'm not pleased about this. I don't like being grateful. But it doesn't change that a lot of you people ... exceeded my expectations.

[The stilted wording is more because he doesn't know how to verbalize this and is so vastly uncomfortable, but today's a good day to get it out there so he can get all of his civilization over with in one post and not have to deal with it afterwards.]


[PUBLIC] (follows discussion with Rhade)

You know what a protein waffle is? It's a low-grade, low-cost way to keep a prisoner alive. The minimum nutritional standards, carbohydrates-fat-protein, compressed into something about the consistency of particleboard. You can live on them indefinitely.

Tasty. I've probably eaten about my body weight in that over my lifetime. Somehow I think I can do without them for a while longer.

But it got me thinking.

What do you eat when you ain't feeling entirely put together? Comfort food, cultural shit like that. Recipe would be a bonus.

Disclaimer, obviously, about the kitchen staff being limited, but we can start putting things together. We aren't busted down to protein waffles yet.

Comments

[Piemaker Filter]

[deadly_ned]

I. Uhm.


I.


That is a...terrible way of putting it. I'm not a pie-pusher. There isn't an under the table agreement going on here. There is a nice, simple exchange of goods for services and.


Why are you asking me this.

[Piemaker Filter]

[with_my_teacup]

I need to learn how to bake. Food is something that can keep stress low and a lot of people calm down with baked goods.

I'm not doing the cash thing but I'm willing to barter. Hours of work, services, my warden's willing to back me if all you can take is cash. Think we can work out a deal?

[Piemaker Filter]

[deadly_ned]

I don't...like to take cash when I don't actually have bills I need to pay. Bartering is fine. Uhm.

Do you...know how to mop a floor or wash a dish? It's fine if you don't. Some people are kitchen-challenged.



...You want to learn how to bake.

[Sorry, Riddick. You get that glowing grin of approval that is so rare with Ned these days]

[Piemaker Filter]

[with_my_teacup]

[He'd be offended, but honestly questioning his kitchen-honor just amuses him right now. He could use the amusement.]

I've been working in the kitchen since my first stint as an inmate, I'm currently pulling double shifts. I've gotten cooking lessons from a gourmet cook. He's not a baker, though.

But nah. I'm not kitchen challenged.

...something that came up with me and Lecter, my sense of taste isn't quite human. Things you people think are sweet don't really register, I've been told that if I eat sweet I put way too much sugar in just to taste it, so I'm not the easiest student.

[Piemaker Filter]

[deadly_ned]

Why are you pulling double-shifts and what are you getting out of it? If I might ask.

That...might be a challenge. I've never cooked for self-described non-humans. Do you want to eat what you make or do you want to serve it to other people? Because we could do both. Both isn't a bad idea.

[Piemaker Filter]

[with_my_teacup]

When I work the kitchen, I control access and quality to food. Call me a power fiend like that.

[There's just the hint of a smile, one of his threatening little smirks, but he really doesn't have his PSYCHO INMATE smile turned on. It's more habit than anything.]

It's mostly for the rest of the barge. Because I've been in the kind of prison where you eat protein waffles, and I'm not real eager to see this place turn into one of them. Want to start offering more choices at dinner.

I'm not trying to cut into your market, but I want to keep people feeling like they have something left besides narrow halls and cell doors.

[Piemaker Filter]

[deadly_ned]

I'd be horrified but no one that I know of has been poisoned so I'm going to...let that slide. Even if it hurts my soul to think about.

I don't have a market. I have a kitchen and I have hungry people and I have you and now we have each other and that should be enough. If you're working double shifts it's unfair for me to pile on more work for you to do.

Help me clean up the kitchen afterwards and deliver food to those who don't come out or need a tiny slice of home and we'll call it even. No power grabs necessary.

[looksfine]

Is taste an important factor in deciding one's means of sustenance?

[She is not arguing the point. She is simply attempting to understand what is so terrible about a product that, as he explicitly stated, is capable of sustaining one indefinitely.]

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah. [At least he knows that she's not being difficult-- that she's never had the experience.]

We're wired to take pleasure in food that tastes good. Industrial shit like prison food isn't for pleasure, it's to keep you alive.

[looksfine]

[She has vague memories remaining from past Ports in which her state of being was altered to that of human. One who could taste. Unfortunately, those memories often conflicted with what her current systems were capable of.]

Is it possible to acquire both? Food that brings pleasure as well as satisfactory sustenance? How does one determine what is pleasurable?

[with_my_teacup]

Pleasure? You know when it happens. It hits your tongue and you want it to hit your tongue again.

And yeah, you can combine the two. We developed taste up from animals to tell us what we should be eating. It's just expensive. Harder to transport real food than compressed wafers.

[looksfine]

[A nod. She understood what pleasure was, having experienced herself in other forms.]

Forgive me. I should have better phrased my question.

What I meant was how one decides what is pleasurable for others. Is there a quantifiable means of determining preparations that will best suit the majority of Inmates and Wardens alike?

[with_my_teacup]

Ah. Sorta? People in a species tend to have similar tastes, similar needs. Varies, culture to culture, but each culture passes down their food.

Me, I'm a little outside standard. So I follow recipes, take lessons.

And ask people what they want.

[looksfine]

[Okay, then.]

What do you want?

Text; private

[fridgetothefire]

[She attaches the recipe for marikli bread.]

It's simple, but it's good. Especially if you have real flour, not the bleached stuff. Sometimes I add in a little garlic or basil.

Text; private

[with_my_teacup]

Taking some baking lessons: see what I can do about this one.

Text; private

[fridgetothefire]

It's a pretty forgiving recipe, but feel free to ask if you have any questions.

Who's teaching you?

Text; private

[with_my_teacup]

Pie guy.

Text; private

[fridgetothefire]

[she giggles a little, because, yes, he seems really into that, doesn't he]

Well, it's a good staple.

Does he bake anything besides pie, do you know?

private

[with_my_teacup]

Don't actually know but I'm about to find out. Seems like it.

[timesbureaucrat]

Basic Gallifreyan food consists of nutritional bars, sometimes pills. That's what I'm accustomed to. I doubt anyone else on the Barge would appreciate it, however.

More natural food is occasionally served for special occasions, as a delicacy. Roasted seerlak, tafelshrew, that sort of thing. Served with Rassilon Red, or, in less official settings, sometimes black market Dalek juice.

[But Narvin never used to think highly of that sort of thing. He approached it like an unadventurous diner being presented with fish eggs and snails. He ate it, but only grudgingly and because it would have been rude not to. But now that he's become used to even more exotic food, alien food, (he even ate a hotdog!) perhaps sometime he might give the Gallifreyan dishes another chance.]

[with_my_teacup]

...so you'd actually go for the protein waffles if we had them.[Riddick sounds amused.]

I wouldn't know the other dishes by name and I wouldn't know how to cook them, unless I get a guide.

[timesbureaucrat]

Very likely, yes.

I can pass you recipes, if you wish. I have some stored in my TARDISes databanks. There's no need to go to any trouble on my account, however. As I said, I'm perfectly happy with nutritional bars.

[deadliestviper]

There's a lot to be said for a good spicy chicken or duck. But as an American girl at heart, I have to vouch for a good old-fashioned burger and fries.

[with_my_teacup]

Now those I've been taught to do. I'll see if I can't slip that into the dinner menu some time this week.