Well, that's part of the complication. He wants me home. [That makes it hard for her to want to stay. Hard, but not impossible.]

I had an easier time telling him to take his generosity and go screw himself when I hated myself. I don't- I don't even know when I stopped all the self-loathing. It's still there, don't get me wrong, I think there's not a woman on board who doesn't secretly resent herself for being alive...but it's less, you know?